Many people make the mistake of thinking Quantum Physics is complicated.

Read more: A Theory of Quantum Breakfast Menu Items

Spring is sprung
The grass is riz
I wonder where
The birdies is
Some say the bird is on the wing
But that’s absurd
The wing is on the bird.

Read more: Homage to the Season

Fast forward twelve years or so. After a brief dry patch of about a decade I’m now with my second ever girlfriend. I guess at this stage you could say things are getting a bit serious, as I’m steeling myself for the ultimate jewellery shop excursion: Operation Engagement Ring.

Read more: Is There Something I Can Help You With? - Part 2

So the question is… what the blazes does any of this have to do with being unemployed and cancelling job interviews?

Well… the day after I lost my job I went a bit mental and decided that, come hell or high water, I needed to find myself a job, any job, by the end of the day. It wasn’t the most realistic of expectations to set myself, but that’s what happens when you go a bit mental. I didn’t find Hell, or any high water to speak of, and the only jobs going in my local area were – you guessed it – in a jewellery shop. Nothing could possibly have tested my resolve more comprehensively than three little words: “please enquire within”.

Read more: Is There Something I Can Help You With? - Part 3

Early last week I cancelled the only job interview offer I’ve received since my sudden and unexpected re-entry into the unemployment sector. To understand, you’re going to need some background. Once you’ve got the background, it still might not make sense. But if reading things that make sense is a high priority for you, my friend you are on the wrong website.

Read more: Is There Something I Can Help You With? - Part 1

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